There were many things that impacted me over the last few weeks, but if I were to write about all of them, it would take me forever and no one would read it. So I will highlight 3 that seemed to say the most to me.
From the time I found out on Tuesday morning until I gave Lindsay (his wife) a hug at the visitation, there was a message God seemed to be trying to get through to me. My close friend Dan was the first to tell me of Aaron's passing. We immediately prayed. Later on we met to talk, well, mostly cry together. During that time, he said some very important words "Aaron loved you". At the time I didn't think much of it. We attended a prayer vigil later that afternoon. Our university president was there and gave me a great hug. The first thing he said to me was "Aaron loved you". Oddly enough it was the 3rd time I had heard that message that day. The next time I heard it was 3 days later in Normal, talking with Lindsay's mom in the visitation line. She was very surprised to see me and embraced me with one of the greatest hugs I have ever had. She said those same words "Aaron loved you". I fought back tears, which I had been doing a lot of. After talking to her, I turned and there was Lindsay, with Emmerson, who ran up and gave me another one of the greatest hugs of my life. I'm glad she remembered me. I then turned to Lindsay and gave her a huge hug. The first thing she said to me was "Thank you so much for coming". The second, "Aaron loved you". SMACK. It finally hit me. I finally understood. I didn't have to text him everyday or call him every week because when we did talk or did hang out, it was like we were never apart. That's the way our friendship was. This washed away all my regret because we both knew where we stood with each other. Thank you God for using such smart people around me to get the point across.
The second impact was that of the community of the Bloomington-Normal. As much as we at Whitworth have been grieving the the loss of Aaron, a community is suffering from the loss of multiple influential individuals. It took me traveling to Normal to fully understand the loss in the community. As I was in line for the visitation, I overheard one gentleman talk about how 4 of
the guys on that plane were his tailgating buddies. 4….. he lost 4 people he was close to. Speechless. I couldn't even begin to understand what that guy and, surely, many people from that community were and still are experiencing. I read a great article from the local paper there that I believe is more powerful than anything I could write. You can find it here.
The greatest lesson I have learned thus far is the power of
God in times of anger and pain. I pray I
never have to go through the death of a spouse.
My heart breaks daily thinking about the pain, anger and agony Lindsay
is going through. Their story makes it
even worse. She was brave enough to
stand and speak at Aaron’s funeral. She
started off by praying, asking God for the words to say because she had no idea
what to say. After telling the group that
they were in a very good place in their marriage, she expressed her anger, her
deep sorrow at losing her husband. She
then proceeded to say that she wasn't angry at God. That her faith, like her husbands, was the
only thing that was going to help her through this unthinkable time and for
those in the room who didn't have a faith, they should come talk to her because
this could happen to them tomorrow and without Jesus, they couldn't make it
through. WOW!!! God used her to witness during undoubtedly the
hardest and most painful time in her life.
And she stood up there proclaiming the name of Jesus. I was at a loss for words. I could just picture Aaron watching, smiling
and thinking “that’s my wife”. Not only
did she express this at the funeral, but had this Facebook the following day
“I spoke of this at his
funeral but it's worth repeating. Aaron wasn't planning to die that day. He was
supposed to come home. He was supposed to continue on doing life with us. My
heart is broken and right now it's hard to see beyond one day at a time. But
know this- Aaron is in heaven. He was prepared for that. He may not have known
when his time would come but he knew where he would be when it did. We never
think something like this will happen to us, I never did, but know that it
certainly can. If you walk out your door today and never return, where will you
spend eternity? Do you have that hope, that certainty? If you do not, find me.
I want to talk to you. I want you to have that same hope and comfort. We serve
a loving God and he wants nothing more than to give you the gift of eternal
life.”
If you look, life lessons can be taught everyday. This last week I have been humbled by my
weakness. My pride has been struck
down. My tears have flown freely. I grieve for the loss of my friend, yet I
smile knowing he is in heaven. My heart
is broken for his family, yet I’m in awe at how God is holding onto and using
Lindsay. I’m saddened for the community
that lost so much, but encouraged by the outpouring of support of each of the families
of the victims. God is working in so
many ways in each of our lives each day.
Take a moment, look for yourself.
Can you see what He is doing for you, what He is preparing you for? I’m thankful God put Aaron into my life. I’m thankful he is heaven. Can’t wait to see him there. Love and miss you buddy.
Jon
