"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes
us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song
of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering
if somewhere, somehow theirs someone perfect who might be searching for us"
Kevin Arnold, The Wonder Years
It never fails. During the holidays I am constantly being reminded of being single. In fact, it seem to be worse this year. Don't get me wrong, I get people want me to find that someone special. In the case of my brother, than means paying for my eharmoney subscription. He swears its going to work one of these days, but come on, for every success story, there are at least 10 people who didn't find their match. Since I'm not a huge believer in it working I'm likely to be one of those 10. Co-workers are pulling for me as well.... or they just like to remind me that I'm single. One of them mentioned that after 30, I should be looking for all the help I can get. I'm also encouraged by friends to talk to any cute girl we see, no matter where we are. Their theory: What can it hurt? Likely my pride.....
Every so often in the past, I have had the thoughts of wanting to find someone. Then I think about my life, having time to myself and being use to my lifestyle and wonder if I would be ready to give it all up for someone. Nope, I wasn't ready. However, in the last month I feel a change of heart and head coming on. I find myself thinking about what life would be like if I had a significant other. At least I would know what to do in my spare time :). Maybe it's just the holiday season. Maybe its seeing all of my married friends. Maybe is the constant reminders from students and others. Or maybe its God letting me know that it might be time in His plan. In the end, its all about what He wants for me. He has been molding me and shaping me for His purpose. During that time, He has also been preparing me. I am a big believer that we aren't meant to be alone. There are a few who may be chosen to do so, but I don't think I am one of those.
So with this being said, I'm pretty sure God isn't just going to drop someone in my lap. I actually have to pay attention and be ready for that person to come into my life. Where do I meet them? Is it through eharmoney where I'm emailing with a few people? (if I lived on the west side I would have been on a few dates by now) Is it through church, where I'm still figuring out a home church and a possible small group situation. Is it being set up by friends? Is it someone from my past? Who knows. I don't have the time to worry about all that. Instead, I'm preparing to be the best companion I can by continuing to let God shape me into the man He wants me to be. What does that look like? Seems like a topic for another blog :).
I feel like the biggest thing I need to remember in this whole search is that I need to be me. I need to be who God has made me to be. Currently, that's a single guy trying to figure out what God's plan for me in. At some point, it will be a life as a husband and being a leader for my family. I'll be the first to admit, with many people agreeing, that I'm not the most patient person in the world, but this process plus multiple others has taught me that things truly do happen in His time. Someday I'll get to unleash my hopeless romantic side on some unsuspecting woman who will fall head over heels for me. Realistically I'll be the one to fall for her, but I'm all for it :) and can't wait for that day to come.
Sorry for a blog with not much deep thought. I have a lot going on in my head and haven't been able to organize my thought into a blog. Hopefully a slight reprieve from work and some time in the mountains will help me organize those thoughts. Until then....
Blessings
Jon
